“Obsession. You’re my obsession.”

“Are we on the same page?”

“K I ♥ U”

“Was that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?”

“MY ASSHOLE BFF MIKE BACK”

“What for?”

“K8T NDS HM’

Ah. Are you gonna talk to him? You probably should, no?

“IALREADYDID”

Oh, sweet. Is everything cool between you two?

“YES-“

I know, I know. You had more to say, but I was getting impatient with your pendulum swings. Sorry, babe.

“UBITCH”

“Does Chef sleep in the nude? I got ten bucks that say he does not.”

Probably a full-on pajama set. Top and matching trunks. Pale blue. Maybe even one of those nightcaps like Fred Mertz wore to bed. No, not ‘probably’. Definitely.

“FUNNYIMBENTOVERLAUGHING”

Me, too!

A little bird told me Chef is fifty-three years old. Tell me that is true, please?

Chef swears I will never find out his age. So far he is right, dang it.

ANOLDFARTMAYBEBUTNOTFIFTYTREE

Oh, fine. Don’t ever tell me. I will just wait until I finally get those pants off and check your driver’s license.

“WORKSFORME”

WHATMKSUTINKTHEINFORMAYSHUNONMYDRIVERSLICENSEWILLBETRUE?”

Good point.

How was your Christmas holiday? Did you end up going to see your family?

“IWENTHOME”

How are your babies? I bet they miss you when you are away from them.

“IAMLOVINGTHEFACTTHATUASKED”

Well, you talk about them like they are pretty important to you. I remembered.

Oh yeah, before I take off to go play a couple games of pool,, last night I pulled cards. The question I asked was, “What are some of the dirty things he is fantasizing about doing with me?

“WOW!REALLYLAIDALLTHATOUTTHEREDIDNTU?”

You said, “LAID.” 😂

I’ll be back in a bit. Spring some of that pool juju of yours down on a bitch, will you please?

“OIBWITHYOUALWAYSALREADY”

“UTNKUDATGOODSOFASTFORNOWEESON?NOPECUZMEINYOUDATSWHY”

IAGWEE

“NOWHIFFUEXCUSEMEIHAVE2DOLLARSINQUARTERSTOBLOWONSOMENINEBALL.”

YOUSAIDBLOW

***back in a bit***

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