***DM thoughts in BOLD type***
**ching** = the little quick pops of arousal I feel in my pants when my DM is thinking about me.
Hot damn. I knew there was a reason I was too lazy to throw out the cardboard that shipped my television. It works perfectly as a shield against the ground so my new swimming pool doesn’t pop.
Okay, so no one is swimming in this thing exactly, but you get what I mean. I love that I got this.
It’s been hot the last week or so. Hot for us right now apparently is 90 degrees. It is definitely shorts weather.
I snagged this, too.
It’s a camping chair that rocks! Like, literally rocks back and forth. Now I can sit out in my front yard and enjoy the awesome weather and write at the same time. Even Oreo joins me for a little while. I am trying to get her out of the house every day for half an hour or so and let her know where she can and can’t go. I can enjoy being at home AND outside now. The next item to save for is a recliner so I can have a comfy place to chill inside. I don’t know what I was thinking with the couch I have now.
I bought this one really comfortable couch with two recliners and in great condition at a thrift store for $40. I paid for it and my buddy Art was going to help me transport it a week later. But, turns out Art was unable to get the third seat out of his suburban, so I would have to rent a trailer and fill up his gas tank and it turned out to be more hassle than what it was worth at the time. I just considered the $40 a donation to the thrift store and gave up. I felt better when another friend of mine, Joe, mentioned it was probably best because if it has bed bugs, I’d be pissed. He’d be right. So, another reason i am glad I left the couch. Right after that is when Quarantine began and the store had to close anyway. I felt much better.
Dude, do you know I’ve seen 3:33, $3.33 today and yesterday 3:33?
There’s a 22 staring right at you, too.
Yup. And right now I just saw 5:55, but I was a minute too late getting the screenshot.
Why do you take screenshots of all of them?
You know why. I want a full-on library of screenshots of this shit. I want to add it all to my book. I am not the only twin flame going through all this and I want to show my progress and experience with others. Maybe some can relate. My main goal is…
Hang on..I lost Oreo for a second. Let me go grab her and put her near me. I love being outside at this time of day.
Dang it, she doesn’t listen.
She is a cat.
Very perceptive, babe. (I’m blowing you a rassberry.)
I know. I’m just saying that’s probably why she isn’t listening.
Kitties can listen. Have you ever had a kitty, Mr. Allergic?
Drat. I gotta go grab her again. Hang on.
That little shit ran under my car. I put her back in the house. It’s too nice a night to go in this early. But, if she can’t stay close and isn’t scared enough of me yet to know what the word ‘NO’ means, she can chill inside and gaze at me from the screen door.
Have a heart…
I had a heart until she ran under my car! Crap. I hear her crying inside. Now I feel like a
I was going to say ‘clod’, but meany works, too. I hear her trying to push the door open. She’s already had her first heat. And the full moon will be here in three days. I don’t want her shacking up with that neighborhood tabby with the huge balls that comes prowling around here. That fat tubby is not good enough for my girl and she is too young to be getting her groove on, let alone with some random Tom Cat in the area.
Christina, she’s a cat.
You don’t need to remind me of that. 0-PPPPPPPPPPPPP NNNNNNNNNNNNTGFFIUas
I’ll give you one guess as to who jumped on the keyboard.
That’s not even funny. He hasn’t messaged me all day. He is pissed over what I said to him last night. I kinda don’t blame him. He wanted me to be “100% honest” with him. So, I was.
He didn’t really ask for all that, though.
True. But, he was being a dick. I let him have it via text message. He wanted the truth. I told him what I thought. And that was everything from I don’t like witnessing his neglect to the girls to he is always drunk and constantly speaks bad of others. So, I told him I would rather not hang around him.
I do not like the person I am when I hang out with him. I drink more to tolerate him and to try and laugh at his countless jokes about farting, shitting or the stupid Tiger King. I get tired of him taking every song we hear on the radio and changing the words to include something having to do with sex, shitting or both. I don’t know how I laughed the first few times he did it.
Oh my gosh and God forbid I don’t laugh at one of his tasteless jokes, then it’s, “What’s the matter?” or “What’s wrong?” I had to tell him just because I don’t find one of his thousands of innuendo comments funny doesn’t mean I am mad at you or suddenly in a bad mood.
I just grew tired of it. Months ago I grew tired of it. He just finally gave me a good reason to let it all out. First, he got pissy when I told him, “No,” when he asked for a shot of Jager out of my freezer day before yesterday. I had just picked him up from the house where his girls are home and he is sloshed already. I wasn’t going to add to that. Then he got pissy with me and even said, “Thanks, I GUESS,” after I pulled up to drop him off. He had just asked if I wanted to stay and smoke some weed before I left and I turned that down, too.
That’s exactly what I did. I walked away, got me a mini pool and outdoors chair and now, other than work, I don’t feel the need to leave my house. I did not feel that way three days ago.
Good girl. I am proud of you.
I hear that in my head often. It’s never, “I’m proud of me!” or “Hey, I’m proud of myself!” It’s always, ” I’m proud of you.” Why is that?
I am not going to explain. You already know.
Tight lipped, are ya? 🙂
You’re a dork.
Yeah, yeah. I know. But, you know who is more of a dork than you and I?
I’m not a dork.
Oh yes. Yes, you are. But, who I was referring to is my father. He is dork and a half. He is clearly where I get it. 🙂
One year I sent Dad a text message on Thanksgiving Day that said: Happy Thanksgiving to the biggest turkey I know!
His text reply was: You know it.
I couldn’t stop laughing. I will never forget that text message.
Damn. There it is again. I see 717 all the time.
You know at the beginning of all this, three years ago, the numbers that I saw all the time to make me think something weird was going on was 1111 and 333. I saw 1111 EVERYWHERE. One night, and this was creepy at the time, I saw 333, like, six times in a matter of just a couple hours. I remember I was in the bedroom of the RV back in Hermosa Beach. A few months before I left The Dildo Covert Narcissist Karmic. I have no clue where The Dildo Ex was. But, I do remember it was dark. **ching**
Where did that come from?
I totally forgot what I was saying. Thank you. 🙂
That was the night I felt the slap on my ass. I was in the dark, alone. I remember I had my DM in my head. I can remember feeling like I just knew and felt like he was thinking about me. I kept talking out loud, but not to myself. It was as if I was answering someone else. These weren’t voices, mind you. Not once have I ever heard voices. These were thoughts. What’s crazy is that the thoughts don’t even play out completely in my head. They are just there and I answer out loud.
You are going too fast.
No, you are! It’s not me. It’s all the other thoughts that are meshing with mine.
No, what I mean is you need to slow your thinking and concentrate on separating the thoughts so you know exactly where they are coming from. I wish you would meditate more.
Are you really going to
Yes, I am. You admitted that when you actually take the twenty minutes to concentrate on your breathing that the thoughts come to you and that you are able to clearly differentiate whose thought comes from whom. Your channeling would go so much smoother.
How many times are you going to remind me of that?
As many times as it takes until you get it.
Oh fine. What the heck what I saying again?
The hard slap on your ass.
I don’t remember saying ‘hard’, but yes, it was hard. That was what first made me think all the thoughts were coming from your brother. He was the only one to have ever slapped me on the ass. It was the one time at the saloon when I was kneeling up on one of the bar stools. He slapped my ass.
I know you don’t like that.
But, do you see where the confusion started? It was that night that I felt the slap on my ass while by myself alone in my room that I sent your twin brother THE text that said these exact words:
“It IS you! All this time I thought it was your brother, but it’s you!!”
His response was this:
“Haha is it me?”
Things went to Hell after that with this whole awakening. Don’t get me started on how I was able to walk to his house from my place in Hermosa without knowing where the fuck he lived! I had been there once for the Firestick thing, months prior, and it was at night, from the saloon and he drove on streets I’d never been on before. Yet, with our playlist in my headphones, I was able to somehow FIND YOUR TWIN BROTHER’S APARTMENT. How did that happen, I wonder?
Calm down. We’ve been over this.
I’m gonna close this post and watch a blue-ray. I am thinking Jumangi with my future-baby-daddy Dwayne Johnson.
That was some crazy shit though, huh? Like, I found your twin brother’s apartment in the middle of the night listening to ‘Leaving Earth’ by Seven Lions on repeat. I had no idea where he lived. Crazy.
I can feel you rolling your eyes at me.
The Dildo Karmic Ex Wesley didn’t like it AT ALL. LOL. He was always tracking my GPS.
Go watch your movie. I love you.
***The following are songs that happen to be playing while I was typing this post. If you are a twin flame, then you know music you hear is always for a reason. Click the links to view the lyrics. Thanks for reading my journal while on my TF Journey. More to come. Stay safe out there and do not believe what you see on main stream media.***
‘Young Lust’ by Pink Floyd https://genius.com/Pink-floyd-young-lust-lyrics
‘No Ordinary Love’ by Sade https://genius.com/Sade-no-ordinary-love-lyrics
‘It’s No Good’ by Depeche Mode https://genius.com/Depeche-mode-its-no-good-lyrics
‘Blurry’ by Puddle of Mudd https://genius.com/Puddle-of-mudd-blurry-lyrics
‘If’ by Janet Jackson https://genius.com/Janet-jackson-if-lyrics
‘Show & Tell’ by Al Wilson https://genius.com/Al-wilson-show-and-tell-lyrics
‘Every Breath You Take’ by The Police https://genius.com/The-police-every-breath-you-take-lyrics
‘In Your Eyes’, by Peter Gabriel https://genius.com/Peter-gabriel-in-your-eyes-lyrics
‘I Touch Myself’ by The Divinalys https://genius.com/Divinyls-i-touch-myself-lyrics
‘Radioactive’ by Imagine Dragons https://genius.com/Imagine-dragons-radioactive-lyrics
‘Pumped Up Kicks’ by Foster The People https://genius.com/Foster-the-people-pumped-up-kicks-lyrics
‘Sweather Weather’ by The Neighbourhood https://genius.com/The-neighbourhood-sweater-weather-lyrics
‘Bailamos’ by Enrique Inglesias https://genius.com/Enrique-iglesias-bailamos-lyrics
‘Arms Wide Open’ by Creed https://genius.com/Creed-with-arms-wide-open-lyrics
‘Green Light’ by John Legend https://genius.com/John-legend-green-light-lyrics
‘(I Just) Died In Your Arms’ by Cutting Crew https://genius.com/Cutting-crew-i-just-died-in-your-arms-lyrics