04-26-2020 3 years I’ve Been on my TF Journey and…

***DM thoughts are in BOLD type***

**ching** = the quick, little pops of arousal I sometimes feel in my pants when my DM is thinking about me.

Real quick. Check out this butt AWESOME new challenge going on:

I’m in love. What a great challenge! I love all the Quarantine crap I see online! Some of it is wonderful like the one you see above.

I got off work at noon today and Art and Wayne bought a new grill.

There she is!
That’s Wayne over there and those are Art’s legs.

Wayne is stoked that he is now getting $600 a week from unemployment after just being laid off from New Mexico Tech cafeteria. He is a happy camper. Art and I think he is going to drink himself to death through the Quarantine. It’s not even a joke either. I feel bad for the guy. To have lived with a woman like his mother. You should hear how she speaks to him. With contempt in her voice. She verbally bashes him in front of others with her stories. That’s why I don’t let her get a word in edgewise anymore. The best you can do is not let her start a story because it will no doubt be putting someone down and making her the hero somehow. “That’s not what I would have done,” or “That’s not the way I would have done it,” I feel like telling the bitch, “Then do it your fucking self, you lazy hag!”


Oh I get it babe. She did me a HUGE solid by giving me a roof over my head when I needed one and all she asked in return is that I helped out around the house. But,

There are no ‘butts’ about it.

No babe, there are LOTS of ‘but’s about it. And you don’t even know how to spell the right ‘but’, when it should have been ‘but’ instead of ‘butts’. You are such a dude.

No, you just don’t know how to type.

No, I type your thoughts the way they come out in my head. That includes the spelling sometimes.

Are you high?


You would be, too, if I was, right? Depending on how high…Do you feel high?

No. I feel like I’m babysitting.

What did you just think?

You heard me.

Oh, you are such a square. (Art’s talking about brethalyzer stuff lol)


It’s a Sunday afternoon and I am off my shift at the coffeeshop. I got my buddies here Wayne, Art, Spike and Garth, a drum set, a new grill, a beer, some weed, and it’s a GORGEOUS day here at Garth-O-Traz. Adonnis and Talia are on their way, too. We’re partying safely. Garth-O-Traz is what Wayne calls the little space where we hang out. Wayne has had Garth for five and a half years and he loves him more than he loves his own mother. Garth is pretty cool, though.

I am reminded of the time you told me that all your brother does is stay home all day and drink.

He does.

I know what you mean now. All poor Wayne does is drink all day. He hurts that much inside. I feel bad for him. Yeah, he is a jerk sometimes when it comes to doing stuff for his mom, but let’s face it. I don’t blame him anymore. She was making him take care of his two little brothers by himself when he was only six years old. She just decided one day she didn’t feel she should have to do it since Wayne was six. Wayne got his brothers Ian and Lindsey up for school, fed breakfast and made sure they were on the bus. Wayne. Six going on seven years old. This woman thinks everyone should be doing everything for her. She feels she is above it somehow. It’s crazy weird her way of thinking.

Narcisstic Personailty

Disorder. That’s exactly what I was thinking. I’m no doctor and I haven’t the knowledge to diagnose a damn thing, but from the reading I’ve done on people with this disorder, she fits the bill.

What is it with my particular twin flame journey and my sudden fricking acknowledgement of what a narcissist is? Was I a narcissist bitch in a past life or something and this is my karma?

Um, speak of the Devil?

Liz, Wayne’s mother.

Wonderful. She came outside to join us. We are listening to classic rock, enjoying some food, alcohol and a little weed and she is feeling ignored in the house by herself. So, we are going to try and get her drunk with the box of wine she made Art buy her and pick her brain. Really get psychologist on her ass.

What do you hope to accomplish by doing this?

To learn more about her. She opens up when she gets drunk. You actually feel more compassion for her because she gets honest about her childhood and the root of all that makes her evil. It’s heartwarming, really.

You ARE high.

Fuck. Here comes Art to come get me out of the girl’s room where I have been hiding and typing all this. Well, and charging my phone.

We did get a pretty nice sunset. I love that about being in Socorro.

Adonnis was amazing with Liz. He used to be a Certified Nurses Assistant in a hospice home, so this was right up his alley. He is a natural born nurse. (No, he’s not Filipino.) I think he was born an angel JUST to do this here on Earth. It would make so much sense as to why he just gets along with everybody and accepts everybody for who they are. Wayne ditched the rest of us to go play horse shoes by himself, drunk, because the moment Talia and Adonnis got there, the ‘Wayne Stories’ began.

Well first, Liz started with, “I hate those shoes on you, Wayne.”

I couldn’t help myself. I immediately said, “They’re tons better than yours, actually. In fact, how long have you been wearing those socks, as I see they have turned all the way around on your foot.” Scroll back up to the picture and zoom in on her feet. You will see she had no room to talk. But, she felt the need to say it loud and in front of everyone. I don’t get the bitch. Err, sorry. I don’t get the woman.

I understand I wasn’t doing any better by saying what I said. I also understand I am human and not a Saint. This woman is mean, rude and feels she is the greatest thing since jelly was added to peanut butter way back when.

She also had to include, at Wayne, “You’re drunk!”

DUH, he’s drunk! He’s drunk every minute he is at your house because you are a raving bitch to him. We all know he is drunk. But, we don’t point it out every chance we get to belittle the guy.

She wonders why her other sons Ian and Lindsey nor her grandson Logan go visit her. In fact, none of her family comes to visit her. Wayne only comes by when his roommate is doing work on the new house for them and Wayne is too lazy to help, so he leaves and goes to his mom’s.

When I got to that house to start doing some chores for Liz because of the overwhelming laziness they got going on there. Art admits it, too. He says he is lazy and she is worse. But, here is where I have the problem:

Art has two little girls. Daizyrai is 5 now and Lilyann just turned 7 a couple days ago. I was originally going to just do some light housework for Liz, like the kitchen, make her bed, do some laundry, sweep and vacuum. I was doing hourly work from 8-12pm for $40 a week and now since I was living there, I didn’t get paid. But, if I needed anything like toiletries, she would just hand me the ‘magic plastic’ and I could get what I needed.

I should be pretty grateful. I was. I mean, I am grateful.

But, after the first week of my living there, I discovered just what she was looking for in me. Someone to do everything for her. She wanted a maid.

Art has been living there for 5 years plus and he agreed to do light work for her around the house. He does nothing, really. His room is just as torn up as the rest of the house. Mouse crap everywhere, trash, dirty dishes, no sheets on the girl’s bed, etc. Liz’s room is a different room after I took a week to clean out all the dirty laundry, the dirty diapers that Art refuses to take out for her and dust and sweep just so she doesn’t fall and break her hip. The entire house is a huge dump and that is putting it lightly.

Liz was 69 at the time and she just turned 70. After some surgery some years ago, she left the nursing home against doctor’s orders and came home before she was completely healed. Her reason was that the staff was bullying her. Her friends and family know it’s because they weren’t putting up with her bullshit and were finally saying something to her. Whether they were mean about it to her, I don’t know. I wouldn’t have blamed them as I am very familiar with how she treats people.

But, it’s the little ones I worry about. Daizy and Lily are my two lil nuggets. Art says they love me more than their own mama.

Snapchat with Daizyrai.
Lily’s Thanksgiving Day Lunch

I love these two little girls. Being a live-in nanny is hard work for these little ones, though. Then again, being a live-in nanny can be hard PERIOD.

When I got there, everything out of their mouths was, “I want.” After a little time, I had them at this:

Teaching some manners where I can.

But, if that kind of thing isn’t implemented when you are gone…

Exactly. I left and now only visit and they are back to “I’m thirsteeee,” and “I’m hungreeee.” Art just wants to be a good daddy. Their mother, unfortunately, is still tweaking on meth and it’s sad to see. It’s even worse that I can do nothing about it.

You cannot fix this family, Christina.

I am not trying to fix them.

Yes, you are. Do like he says and just ‘go with the flow’.

Fine. You’re right. I feel like I wanna fix everyone that needs help.

They don’t need fixing. They need to learn. It’s how you are learning.

Yeah, I guess. But, it’s hard to be around it. That’s why I stopped hanging out at the house. Especially when he gets drunk and the girls are there. I hate that. They know he is drunk. He ignores them, too. He is in his room watching TV and drinking and eating junk food. And because all he eats is junk food, guess what the girls eat? Junk food. It’s just put the girls on their tablets all day and they don’t bother him. Lilyann’s homework isn’t getting done because she requires LOTS of attention when she does it and he doesn’t have the patience to sit and do it with her, so she gets way behind. Even her teachers tell me that when they drop off her homework for Art at the coffee shop.

That’s sad.

I know. I was helping at first when I was living there, but I saw that he was really digging that I was doing everything for the girls and he got to do nothing. He felt as long as he was paying me $50 a week that he didn’t have to do anything anymore with the girls. I didn’t like that.

I wouldn’t either.

Many times I would go pick them up and take them to the park just to get them out of the house for a while. He doesn’t mind that they are indoors on their tablets constantly. You’d think that now that he has the truck, he would take them out to do some things now.

Well, with the quarantine…

That is SO not an excuse. Many families are going camping all around here. We’ve talked about camping, but then he gets drunk one night, gets depressed and then doesn’t want to do anything. I feel bad for him. His brothers thought it would be hilarious to get Art drunk when he was seven years old and he hasn’t stopped drinking since.

I’m gonna jet. I’ll leave you with this awesome meme I made off an advertisement:

(Song playing while editing and closing: ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay) https://genius.com/Coldplay-the-scientist-lyrics

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